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Business Considerations Adoption presents some unique and predictably unpredictable occurances which require adaptation and accommodation. Choosing a business that is flexible and not highly demanding can make a huge difference. Here are some considerations:
Scheduled Appointments Some businesses operate on a flexible schedule, and some require a strict agenda that must be adhered to. For me, this type of business would be horrid during life changes, but for some people, it is preferrable. It depends on whether you have a reliable sitter or not, or whether you have the ability to have predictable times in your day in which you can schedule appointments. The important thing is to realize ahead of time how you are most likely to operate in a situation where someone in your family has high needs, and then organize your life ahead of time to accommodate that as much as possible. For me, the best business has been one that I can operate at any time. I can fit bits and pieces in around the demands of family. I can work late, and start early if I need to. I can work while the kids are occupied doing almost anything. If I have to take a day off for a medical appointment or a child's needs, it is ok, I can catch up the next day. My work is very flexible, and even if I had to take two or three weeks off, it would not make a huge difference except for a few small client needs, which could be made up later. This kind of flexibility is a great blessing to me, but it is not the best solution for everyone. Whatever choices you make, it is best that a routine for business be established early on, and then maintained consistently. If your business is flexible enough to work around everything, then you need to start working it back in quickly after any changes. If it has a set schedule, then you need to go back to that fairly soon so that it becomes part of the adjustment, and not a separate adjustment.
Quiet Time When you are balancing kids and business, you need some predictable times during which you can address business needs. Your kids also need some down time during the day. When they are young, nap times work well for this, but as they get older, naps may not be appropriate anymore. Some kids feel that they need mom or dad exclusively during that time instead, and your uninterrupted time goes out the window! I have learned with my kids that it is ok to tell them that after lunch we have quiet time. That is my time to catch up on things without disturbances. I can set them down to read, or watch a quiet movie. Because I am used to working with life all around me, I can work through that just fine, and even make calls or whatever else I need while they are kept occupied. It doesn't work for everyone that way, but it does for me.
Reasonable Expectations I think most of the pressure that is too hard for us is caused by expectations we put on ourselves. We think we should be able to do it all, even when "all" is so much that nobody could do it. Go through your life and cut out the things that really don't matter. And with the things that do, be willing to accept adequate in some areas. No one can be everything to everyone, and if you cannot develop a realistic perspective as to what is really possible, you'll crumple in discouragement. Business grows slowly around family. But you aren't just growing a business, you are growing kids too, and when you look at your achievements at the end of the day, you need to count them all, and be willing to acknowlege your own effort and accomplishments even when they were not entirely what you would have liked.
Taking Turns Sharing takes on new meaning when you bring a new child home. Kids have to share with someone new. Parents have to share duties with another child. And then there is business. You have to share your time between your kids and your clients. The kids have to share you with the clients. This can be hard for them, and you'll have to work hard to foster understanding instead of resentment. Giving them some time that is their own can help, while still teaching them that they have to compromise on some of what they would like.
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