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Divorce Dilemas Divorce can add difficulties and long term complications to life in general, and if you are a parent coping on your own, or dealing with multiple families because of remarriage, these things can provide some challenges that require adaptation. Sadly, conflict between former spouses can permeate through all aspects of life, and your choice to work at home may become a source of contention. How you go about doing it can make a difference in your ability to succeed. More information is available in the Singles section. Resentment and Opposition You will have to deal with attitudes from as many as three sets of people...children, ex-husband, and possibly his wife, or your new husband's ex-wife. All these people judging you and cross examining your decisions can be tough to stand up to. If you know it is right, do it and don't apologize. If the thought of always explaining your time and financial decisions to others intimidates you, then a home business may not be right for you. If your former spouse, or your current spouse's former spouse would use your working at home as a major area of conflict, or worse, as an excuse for legal action, then you'll need to consider carefully what the price of working at home would be, weighed against the cost of working outside the home, or of simply trying to get by on one salary. Family Time Time with kids that came with the marriage is doubly important. The extra time that working at home can provide a mother who has just joined her family with another can be very important. It can be stressful and intense, but more time, not less, is what helps work out problems. Balancing time if you are the sole wage earner and parent can be very hard, because if you are the only parent in the home, your time gets pulled in many directions already. You'll need cooperation from your kids, and you'll need to have excellent organizational skills. Time Out When the kids are visiting the other parent, a working Mom can take advantage of breathing space, and some time can be given to business tasks that require intense concentration. If you are trying to make the transition from working outside the home to operating a home business, those times can provide you with valuable time to work on startup tasks. Even if that is the only time you give your business, you'll make good progress and eventually get there. Time In When kids are visiting who do not usually live with you, your job needs to be flexible enough to give them some extra time. Work may need to wait until they need some time without your attention. If you regularly have kids in the home, you have the opportunity to develop some consistent routines which can make meeting their needs and operating your business possible if the routines are adhered to. You must be consistent though, and follow through with appropriate consequences if you expect certain behaviors from your children. This is true though whether you work at home or not. Attachment Issues Divorce causes long term issues with kids, and with you also. Behavior problems stemming from those issues will continue to arise on a regular basis over the life of those affected by divorce. These issues do have patterns, and knowing what they are can help you to choose something that allows you the flexibiity to respond to those issues in a positive way. More information on Attachment Issues is available in the Adoption area. The patterns for divorce are not usually as intense as with adoption, but they are similar enough that the information is directly applicable When parents part ways, a child's security is shaken. If one parent leaves the home, they may fear that the other might too. Feeling that somehow they caused the situation is common, as are general feelings of insecurity until the child adjusts to a new set of expectations. Issues will crop up through various developmental stages though, when a child naturally reassesses their world and attempts to make sense of what they know, in relation to new things they have learned. Divorce damages. No question. But sometimes a marriage can be more damaging if progress is no longer a realistic hope. Only the parents can determine which is the less harmful course of action for their family.
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Special Links
• Living After Divorce Divorce Lawyer - Resource for child support, child custody, spousal support, property division and more. |
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